Can you be friends with your crush
Let's Stay Friends - When Can This Work And When Not?
Let's stay friends is the most hated phrase you can ever hear in your life.
Regardless of whether it is women or men, anyone who has heard the phrase once in their life will get a rash if you just remind them of it.
But what's the bad thing about this sentence? Why can such a friendly statement be so hurtful?
Why does this sentence drive most people to white heat or to despair?
The answer is easier than you think. When you hear the phrase from someone you are attracted to or want something more than friendship from, you know you have no chance.
Whether you like it or not, you end up in the so-called friend zone. Friendzone is the number one lovesick reason.
Who wants to be in a friend zone when you want a relationship with the person?
This sentence can be very hurtful even after a breakup, sometimes it just annoys when someone has a guilty conscience and wants to wash it away in the way.
Who wants to be friends with the ex-partner after a breakup? Is such a friendship even possible or is it just making a fool of yourself?
When it comes to such situations, opinions differ.
Some say that you can be friends with the ex and that the best friendships can emerge from it, while others are completely against it.
Why is it that there is so much difference in opinion about the phrase “let's stay friends”?
Does everyone have bad experiences when they become friends with their crush or ex?
Let's stay friends - can this even go well?
On television or on social networks you can see more and more often that relationship partners become friends.
Everyone thinks that something like this is only possible in a film. Only an idiot would want his ex as a boyfriend.
But is that really true? Is that an impossible combination that always backfires?
Sometimes if you let yourself go, you make a mistake, but sometimes you also make a true friend.
What are the differences?
When is friendship with the ex / crush a bad idea?
1. When you have feelings
There's no point in becoming friends with your ex or crush if you want something more from them.
Having romantic feelings for the person can only end up hurting you.
Since you've agreed to be friends, the other person assumes that you don't have romantic feelings for him or her.
You are pushed into the friend zone and sometimes you have to listen to stories about other people who are not so nice.
If you want to deal with breakup pain that way, you'll always be tapping in the same spot.
Day by day you will hope that your ex will change his mind and take you back.
But unfortunately that will never happen because you are already in the friend zone and your ex is looking around for other women.
2. When you want to start something new
You toy with the idea of moving on because you realize that it doesn't make sense, the whole thing can't develop into a relationship and now you want to look elsewhere.
In that case, you should cut off all contact with your ex or crush.
You will not be able to fully focus on the new relationship and the flirt attempt, because it can happen that your thoughts wander to the ex.
You are not going to give any other person a real chance if you are still thinking about and thinking about the ex unintentionally or even intentionally.
This can lead to emotional chaos and you give the new flirt a pass because you are not at peace with your feelings and do not know what you want yourself.
3. When your ex / crush is in a new relationship
If you're getting into a friendship with your ex / crush who's already started a new relationship, you might end up losing out.
Your ex-partner's new partner will make your life hell.
Because only the rarest people would think it was good if their partner had contact with the ex.
If he already has a new partner, you will not be able to build a friendly base, because jealousy outbreaks will often occur.
Because he doesn't want the house blessing to hang crooked, he'll avoid contact with you and that can be very hurtful.
You should save yourself that.
When is the friendship with the ex / crush okay?
Most of you will never say by now, but that's not true.
Sometimes it also makes sense to be friends with the ex or unfulfilled crush, although it looks impossible at first.
1. When there are no more feelings
When there are no more feelings in play on either side, you can get involved in a friendship.
Why can this be good for you? You know each other very well, have spent a certain amount of time together and also know what makes each other tick.
That way you can give each other tips for new relationships. You can open each other's eyes to what you've done wrong in your relationship.
Sometimes it also helps to talk to the ex about personal matters, because he already knows the history and you don't have to tell everything from the beginning.
You will meet each other with understanding and in that way a good and honest friendship can develop from it.
2. You value your ex / crush as a person
If you value someone as a person, you can jump over your own shadow and get involved in a friendship.
You may not be able to become lovers anymore, but you still don't want to lose the person completely.
Over time, the feelings of sympathy will also fade and you can lead a healthy friendship.
If you still find that your feelings are not weakening, you should minimize the friendship.
Let us stay friends? How about NO?
Now you've read the good, but also the bad, of friendship with your ex / crush, but you're not going to change your mind.
For you this is simply a no-go and you would never get involved.
But how can you click that on the other side without being too rough?
Here’s how! This is a great way to make it clear to your ex that you don't want anything to do with them.
1. Speak plainly
Sometimes it doesn't help to avoid the bush. You have to say clearly what is on your mind.
Remind him why you broke up in the first place, why you ended the relationship.
When you have gone through all the arguments, he will see for himself that there is no point in being friends if you have not had a happy relationship with each other.
That way, it would only create confusion that you both want to avoid.
2. Break in contact
No matter how you want to go about it, you have to cut off contact with your ex / crush.
Because of me, you can also say that you are going on a trip around the world and cannot report for a while, or you can simply block him on all social networks, even on WhatsApp.
That way he will see for himself that you don't want friendship and that he should leave you alone.
It would also be best to avoid your favorite bar, as unexpected meetings can put you in an awkward position.
3. Be otherwise active
It's important for your ex to realize that you have a life outside of the relationship and that you don't need their friendship.
Find new hobbies. It doesn't have to be a special hobby, just a pastime that will keep you away from your ex.
Go to Ikea, look at furniture, great films are always running on Amazon Prime, cut out various vouchers from the newspaper that you can redeem later or simply register with one of these dating portals such as Parship & Co.
All of this can fill your day so you won't have time to spend with your ex.
It doesn't matter if you live in a small town or in Beverly Hills, anything is a better pastime than pretending to be friends with your ex.
Let us stay friends? Why is someone offering something like this?
1. He or she is not right with their feelings
Some people offer friendship because they are not at peace with their own feelings.
They're still not sure what they want from you. Do you just want a friendship or is there something more to it?
You are, so to speak, a reserve until they know exactly whether something should come of it.
2. You want to be polite
After the breakup, both sides have a hard time, one because they were abandoned and the other because they hurt someone.
Exactly for the second reason, because they think they hurt you, they offer you their friendship.
It is supposed to mean, they will not completely disappear from your life, you can still remain friends and keep in touch with each other.
This is, so to speak, the consolation of the abandoned people.
Let's stay friends can be like a slap in the face It is only important that you are aware of your feelings and ideas.
You must not let yourself be blinded by your feelings and let yourself be pushed into the friend zone, even though you would rather be in a relationship with the person.
In the beginning it will seem impossible to you to completely end the contact, but after a certain time you will notice for yourself that you have taken the right step.
Such a relationship, in which people have different ideas, has to end painfully.
Maybe the person doesn't want to hurt you at all, but in the end you will feel played out.
If he meets someone new he likes, he will definitely not be considerate of your feelings.
He will get on with his life and you will fall by the wayside.
It is important that you draw a clear line and look ahead. Behind you is your past, you have to look ahead to your future. 😉
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