The Dutch are nice
Annoying, but correct: How to make Dutch people glow hot
The Dutch are a people of the world. Open, interested and, in contrast to their American counterparts, often travels outside their home continent. Wherever you are, keep an eye out for a way to connect with our neighbors. Pay attention to acoustic signals such as "au", "je" - and gently scratching "ch" sounds. They will help you identify a suitable candidate at the Trevi Fountain in Rome or on the observation deck of the Empire State Building in New York.
A chat about the weather, the food. From Amsterdam? No really? You always wanted to go there. It would be great if Daan could show you his homeland - from his very personal perspective, away from the tourist crowds. It could be the beginning of a wonderful friendship - right? Telephone number and address have been exchanged, the ticket booked. Very important: pack a small shovel. It will save both your honor and Daan's honor - that much is revealed at this point. Here we go.
Secure antipathy in the landing approach
Send Daan a text message from your home airport: You are on your way and you are really happy that a real Dutchman is showing you his homeland. It is correct: Daan lives in Amsterdam - and therefore in Holland. Daan was probably born in Groningen or Enschede. These places in turn are in the Netherlands, but not in the Dutch provinces, which only make up about a third in the east of the country. A geopolitical sloppiness that particularly upsets non-Dutch Dutch people in no time at all. You can be sure of Daan's dislike on the approach.
No sooner have you landed in Amsterdam than you will inevitably find yourself on a bike. As is well known, nothing works in the Dutch capital without a bike - which is the only reason Daan has borrowed one for you. Actually, he would rather not have done it. Because, like his compatriots, Daan is firmly convinced that the Dutch are the only subspecies of Homo sapiens capable of two-wheeled transportation.
Incompetence on two wheels
Prove to him that he vastly underestimated your incompetence. Stroll by bike, cutting the opposite lane of the wonderfully wide bike paths as often as possible (yes, there are in Amsterdam). Look around the area and produce as many near-accidents as possible. The challenge: to come across as credibly naive. Daan's sense of responsibility for you as his guest will drive him to despair.
This exercise can be improved by saying “Caution! Attention! ”Shouting and shouting after having overcome the danger,“ That is called hospitality? ”- in German, of course. After all, you live in a large country whose basic language skills you should at least be able to master here. After all, there are many German tourists who come over to stimulate the economy.
It is already working, it is already working!
Basically, you've pretty much hit the mark. Because the Dutch are suspicious of the German tourist in themselves - even without having explicitly misbehaved. First there is the subterranean English, which he likes to tinker with (not always, but every now and then rightly so, general note). In addition, it drives him crazy that Germans have the red light district and a visit to a coffee shop as essential on their to-do list. So be sure to insist on a trip to a coffee shop. Daan surely knows his way around very well.
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