What is it like to have a girlfriend

Answer by JuliaZ

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for contacting us with your question :)

I personally know a lot of people who reject relationships for various reasons. Either because you are constantly on the move, do not have the time, or the interest is simply not given at the moment. This is perfectly fine because no one can force them to be in a relationship. Why should you? Nobody will force you to enter into a relationship tomorrow if you absolutely do not want to and refuse for yourself. It's just pretty unusual at your age not to be interested in a relationship.

That you have not yet had a relationship Is one thing that you also reject for the future of relationships is even more surprising if you do not already know this view and also live according to a different idea for your own life. The social picture that is conveyed to us early through the media is yes: mother, father, children. Maybe pets. A family. There are now an incredible number of levels in between. Blended families emerge. That has become completely normal at the moment. Someone with your point of view is a "social outbreak" which probably won't turn in the next few years either.

That doesn't have to be anything bad, but it is quite surprising and this is how the questions of your fellow human beings arise who cannot share your view on this. Ultimately, the only thing that counts is how you want to live. Perhaps your attitude will change from being all alone in a few years, no one knows. Maybe you stay the way you are, which would be perfectly okay. I do not think that your fellow human beings mean it offensive when they say things to yourself that you should get yourself a girlfriend, or what is wrong with you, that you have no girlfriend. It is rather the amazement that will prevail. Parents especially worry when the environment is full of love relationships and the son shows no interest at all. That is something to think about, but you have to be able to work it out with yourself.

You should be able to live like this and if you have now decided that you do not need a girlfriend, then so be it. And then that's perfectly fine. It would be worse if you didn't have a girlfriend even though you wanted to conform. That would be the wrong message and I think it's great that you stand by your own point of view and don't let yourself be bent. Many then create a relationship under the pressure and sometimes lead it for years. Some for a lifetime, although there has never been a feeling of love.

Don't worry about what other people think about it in their amazement. You simply live a different set of values ‚Äč‚Äčthan the majority. There is nothing negative about it. Live your life the way you want to live it. Everything is fine with you and this "stress" that surrounds you comes from others, not from yourself. Live with your attitude as long as you want to represent it.

I wish you all the best for the future,


P.S: I just found another problem that is similar to yours in that this 16 year old girl is currently afraid of not being that type of relationship. You are not alone with your view!