How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You’re Still in Love
By Steven Bancarz| We have all seen fake relationships before. Whether on television or in real life, we all know the basic characteristics of a fake relationship. Then end your long-term relationship the right way by following these nine steps. Unfortunately, this feeling doesn't last forever. At some point. If you're feeling stuck in a dead-end relationship that keeps drawing you back in, here are some research-based strategies you may not have considered to end.
Plan it out Choose the right spot to break off the relationship. Hopefully this one is obvious, but never, never, never end a long-term relationship over the phone, email, text, Snapchat, sticky note, and so on you get the idea.
Have the courage to face your partner. Remain calm Stay calm when talking to your partner. Wait until you are calm before you have the conversation. Out of respect for each other, you should end a long-term relationship gracefully. There should be no yelling or blaming. Be calm and reasonable in your manner and with your words. Sometimes our judgment is clouded. Sometimes we simply want to see the best in someone.
Regardless of what we tell ourselves, some relationships are just irreparable. Instead of being just a part of your life, they have become your entire life. You have forgotten how to live for yourself. Getting over the initial discomfort of being alone is the hardest part. But once you get past that stage, life becomes a whole lot easier. The lessons you learn along the way will allow you to grow and become a better person.
The pain will not last forever. Time is your best friend. When I ended my relationship with my ex, I tried everything I could to distract myself.
I figured that accepting the disappointment in him was easier to handle than being lonely. That was another failed attempt at avoiding heartache.
If you work through the pain, instead of trying to avoid it, you limit the chances of your feelings coming back to haunt you later on. Use Crying As a Cure The best thing you can do for yourself is to release the pain. The more I tried to hold in my pain and be strong, the worse I felt, and I eventually stressed myself out. So what did I do? I cried over and over again, and then I cried some more.
Yup, you heard me right. I cried like a baby! I stopped pretending everything was okay.
It lasted a few weeks, but I felt like a new person when it was over. The tight feeling in my chest was no longer there. I started smiling again. I started noticing the sun shining and the beautiful clouds in the sky.
I was no longer in that dark place. Love is not about how a person can personally serve your needs or enhance your social image. We all know how celebrities get together and break up shortly after.
This is because they interact with the person as a sort of fashion accessory to complete their sense of self. Love is about them, and the space you share. Get in touch with their soul. If you saw their soul, you would see that the only thing true love wants is for them to be happy. Yet we expect relationships which are all bound to pass in time to do this for us. Why do we desire x in our lives?
What do we really want out of life, and why?
9 Crucial Steps to Ending a Long-Term Relationship
What are we searching for? What do we lack, and what are we doing in our daily lives to either transcend or remedy these lackings? And most importantly, why do we want to be in a relationship?
We often carry around holes within us, and look to others to fill those holes for us. When we encounter someone who seems to fulfill those holes in us, it gives us a sort of emotional comfort.
9 Crucial Steps to Ending a Long-Term Relationship
Perhaps we are scared of being alone. We are frightened by the thought of not having someone super close to us in our life. We are terrified by the thought of laying down to sleep each night without resting on the emotional cushion of being in a relationship.
We thus often times confuse love with that which comforts our fear. We look for love from the outside as a substitute for the self-love we lack for ourselves.
We desperately seek for temporary relationships to give us a sort of an emotional high for a while. When we achieve what appears to be love, we later realize down the road that we only really wanted to be in a relationship with them because we lacked x at a certain time in our lives.
Maybe we lacked confidence in ourselves, and the idea of having a partner made us more confident. Maybe we lacked excitement in our lives due to spiritual stagnancy, and were looking to a partner to preoccupy our bored minds.
On top of the fact that what we had with that person was really just comfort and not love, we only stuck around for so long because we were scared of the thought of being alone or of having to start all over from the ground up. I was in this position for a series of relationships, so I know what it looks to search for self-completion in a relationship and confuse the holes it filled with being love. Of course, being in love will offer you comfort, but comfort is not itself love.
As a Deist, I believe in God on the basis of philosophical argumentation grounded in empirical data, and personal revelation. Most people only believe in God or in their experience of God because of emotional reasons. It feels good to believe in a God who loves us, but is the feeling we get from thinking about God the same as actually sensing God? Now lets tie this into relationships. This is a key point. They are in love with the idea of being loved. In past relationships, I used to rehearse instances in my mind involving my relationship that made me feel as though I was loved.