How to Stop Being Afraid of Romantic Relationships: 12 Steps
Because most of us do not like feeling scared, we have spent years developing strategies to try to control our fear by squashing it or avoiding it. The problem is. Here are 12 ways fear interferes with love, and why you should kick it to the . Yeah, being in a relationship means you're going to have to stop. Fear will surface in your relationship. I'm sorry, but it's true. Here's Proof That Exercise Can Basically Stop Your Body From Aging. Created with Sketch.
As adults, we may fail to see them as an enemy, instead accepting their destructive point of view as our own. When another person sees us differently from our voices, loving and appreciating us, we may actually start to feel uncomfortable and defensive, as it challenges these long-held points of identification. With real joy comes real pain. Any time we fully experience true joy or feel the preciousness of life on an emotional level, we can expect to feel a great amount of sadness.
The opposite is also true. We cannot selectively numb ourselves to sadness without numbing ourselves to joy.
Love is often unequal. The truth is that love is often imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from moment to moment. Our feelings toward someone are an ever-changing force. In a matter of seconds, we can feel anger, irritation or even hate for a person we love.
Worrying over how we will feel keeps us from seeing where our feelings would naturally go. Allowing worry or guilt over how we may or may not feel keeps us from getting to know someone who is expressing interest in us and may prevent us from forming a relationship that could really make us happy.
How to Prevent Fear and Insecurity from Ruining Your Relationship
Relationships can break your connection to your family. Relationships can be the ultimate symbol of growing up. They represent starting our own lives as independent, autonomous individuals. This development can also represent a parting from our family.
Love stirs up existential fears. The more we have, the more we have to lose. The more someone means to us, the more afraid we are of losing that person. When we fall in love, we not only face the fear of losing our partner, but we become more aware of our mortality. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of losing it becomes more frightening. I did this because I was afraid to lose him.
I felt safe when we were agreeable and felt unsafe when his thoughts differed from mine. But I was safe. I am always safe. A part of me knows this, but the part of me that comes to life when the fear arises is the part of me that needs a reminder. But now I know. I am strong in my conviction.
I speak my feelings decisively and with ease. He sweats and stutters, but mostly he shuts down. I suspect he shuts down because he is afraid. Neither of us knows it, really. You might be thinking that we were too different, and maybe the truth is that I should be with someone who can share my excitement about chakras.
Don’t Let Fear Destroy Your Relationship
I know that I messed up by not letting him be him completely, and I know that he messed up by not sharing his true feelings with me. That is a lesson, yes.
I acted controlling because his differences triggered my fear of abandonment, a nerve that runs all the way through my heart and back into my childhood. And that is the lesson.
When we act from fear we begin our journey to the guillotine. Fear hides behind many guises, ruining plenty of love lives. The very thing we are afraid of often becomes our reality when we live from our fears.How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment in Relationships
Relationships are a beautiful opportunity to see ourselves more clearly, but we each have to be looking. You have to be willing to see you, and your partner must be willing to see them.
And this all needs to move very slowly, very delicately, and very lovingly. Fear has a million different faces, but your soul always knows the way. When you feel your body tense, when your voice rises, when you begin to shut down, when you begin to explode, when you run away, when you shake with anxiety, your body is telling you. Slow down in those moments.