Immediately after the breakup is official, make your “No Contact are good for long-term relationships, it's bad when you are breaking up. After a break up it's important you do not contact your ex. You do not go places where you're likely to run into your ex in order to "accidentally" bump into There are no set guidelines for how long No Contact should last. It's all about who is willing to follow the No-Contact Rule. It hurts like hell at first, but in the long run it's for the best. If you're not completely over the relationship by then, you're probably well on your way to believing that.
LoveBondings Staff Last Updated: Feb 27, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: We know it, you know it, your ex knows it. Breakups make you want to call in sick to work, stay in your pajamas for a month, and eat ice cream while watching sad movies.
Breakups make you speed-dial your ex and cry your heart out while begging him to come back to you. However, is this really going to make your ex fall for you again? Is this going to make you the person they fell in love with in the first place?
Is this going to make YOU feel happy? So what can you do that will salvage your dignity and make your ex wonder what in the world happened to you? The No Contact Rule.
What is the No Contact Rule? That's all it is. But it isn't impossible. Let's say that your ex is an addiction that you have to get rid of. What do you do when you have to get over an addiction? Cut it out from your life, completely!
No Contact Rule After a Breakup: Does it Work? Find Out Here
It's the same with getting over the need for your ex. Cut him out from your life, and move on.
You have to start loving yourself and your life without him, which is what will make your ex start to have second thoughts if he did the right thing by breaking up! How does the No Contact Rule work? Your ex feels he has the upper hand in your breakup, and you'll go running to him whenever he calls you.
However, with the NC rule, this false belief will slowly start eroding from his mind, and he'll realize that you're not someone who's hovering around the phone all day, waiting for him to return your calls or reply to your texts. Till you're trying to get in touch with your former partner, you're going to come off as needy and desperate, and he'll definitely not want to get back with you then.
He didn't fall in love with this version of you, did he? Through the No Contact Rule, your ex will begin to wonder if you've already moved on. In human relationships, the chase is just as important as the relationship itself, and your ex might find himself plotting on how to get you back.
No Contact Rule: How Long To Do It
Keep in mind though, the No Contact Rule is not meant for revengeful purposes or to hurt anyone in the process. This rule is for you, and your peace of mind. We all know that happiness is a choice, and through the NC Rule, you're going to be making yourself happy and releasing yourself from the pain that you're going through. How long should you wait before you get back in touch with your ex? For the NC Rule to work, you have to be patient.
No Contact Rule: How Long To Do It
You can't expect results pronto, because this is human psychology we're dealing with. Your ex is so used to you being available at the drop of a hat, that he is not going to bother getting in touch with you just a day after you stop contacting him. Hence, we highly recommend that you follow the NC Rule for a period of 30 days minimum. Depending upon how bad your breakup was, you may extend it to 40, 50, even 90 days.
But don't break the rule before you complete the minimum time period, because you do need at least a month to gather your thoughts, think clearly about what you want, basically, to get over a matter of the heart. What can you do during this time?
The real question is, what can't you do? You just got some new-found freedom, which you haven't had for a really long time! This time is meant for rediscovering yourself, pampering yourself to no end, spending time with your friends and feeling good about yourself.
There are endless things that you can do, some of which are mentioned below. Go shopping Who doesn't like to shop? Go buy that dress you've been eyeing since forever. Try on that pair of shoes that has practically been calling you out whenever you pass the store. Get some funny posters for your room.
- What Are the Rules and Benefits of the No Contact Rule After a Breakup
- No Contact Rule After a Breakup: Does it Work? Find Out Here
Bags, jewelry, perfume, things for your house, there are so many things you've been wanting to buy but haven't had the time before this. Go crazy and splurge. Of course, remember to splurge in a reasonable manner, don't forget your credit card limits when you're shopping. Get a makeover You have to start feeling good NOW to heal yourself from the pain you're suffering from. Will looking different make you feel amazing? If yes, do it.
Get a different haircut, start wearing your makeup differently, tweak your fashion sense a little. You'll be pleasantly surprised at all the compliments you receive from everyone around you, and it will definitely give your ego the boost it requires. Please note, though, don't get a dramatic makeover that you might regret in the near future. For instance, if you're not really into coloring your hair but you get your hair colored purple just to look different, you might regret doing it once the novelty is gone.
Exercise Join a gym, or if you're already a member, start going regularly. If you're not a big fan of gyms, go jogging every morning. Play whichever sport you love. Physical exercise is very important when you're getting over a breakup. Firstly, it helps you keep in shape, and we all want to look our best at all times, don't we? Secondly, exercise releases endorphins in your body, and endorphins make you feel re-energized and happy.
Plus, exercise is great for your health. Spend time with your friends This is a great way to keep your mind from wandering and thinking about your ex. Your friends are people who love you unconditionally, and are ready to help you have a good time no matter what the situation might be.
Maybe, you haven't had the chance to meet them as often as you'd like when you were in a relationship, and here's your opportunity to do all that you've missed out on!
Meet your friends for a drink, go partying together, have fun lunches, and make dates with your friends that will leave you thanking the Universe for surrounding you with such amazing people. Remember, your friends are always looking out for you and want the best for you.
Trust them and let your hair down, they won't let you feel sad for a minute. Travel If this is possible for you, you should definitely take some time off and travel.
This can definitely work but sometimes can take a few months rather than a few weeks. But if you can be patient and if you truly work on getting yourself to the best place possible in the meantime, then you really set yourself up for success.
If you spend that month crying into your pillow and obsessing over him endlessly and counting the minutes until you can contact him again, well you need a lot more time!
They found that the brains of their subjects looked a lot like drug addicts fiending for a fix. And what to addicts do to recover? They go to rehab for at least 30 days to completely detox from drugs. The no contact rule is your rehab.
You have spent this time working on yourself and feeling good- you exercise, take care of your self, have fun with your friends, and do things you enjoy. You have opened yourself up to the possibility of dating other guys, and maybe even have gone on a date or two.
You have recovered from the breakup and are no longer feeling broken, empty, and devastated. You want to get back with your ex for the right reasons, not because your lonely and need the validation. You genuinely believe you and him are right for one another. They use it as a means to an end. The goal is to get yourself back to an emotionally healthy, happy, and stable place. If things are going to be different this time around then something has to change.
You need to identify what went wrong the first time and figure out if the problems can be solved.